This might sound uncivilised that am writing to you a letter on A facebook messenger. I don’t know how to really convey this but looking at your profile am very convinced that youre a matured and an understanding personality.
I have wanted you so much that facebook came to notice my plight. It was on a cold night that i saw your name on the list of whom i might know. Like a hungry man, i didn’t care looking at your profile or perhaps your profile picture before sending the request. The green indicator on your profile showed you were online so i waited to see if you were going to accept my request without much ado.
It took you almost one hour before you accepted my request and instead you started liking my post and pictures from previous months. I was bewildered so i decided to take a look at your profile to see who you really were which led me to writing this little piece to you.
I know you are offline but what to do. I am a lost shadow looking far from its image and with you i could finally meet with such image which is entirely mine.
I know it sound rather weird that i want you, all of you. You may not believe it but i want you to give it a try and see what comes out of my sincerity. Am really into you and i don’t care if i have to cross any sea to meet you.
You already know my name. Everything on my profile is correct except my current location. It changes due to my nature of business. Please reply soon even if its a no. I will be glad. THANKS
Each day I found myself wallowing under the frangipani trees that clustered abreast the road counting each car that whizzed past. An act that had become a life style abruptly .
The surmise were so lucid as it unfold itself gently as days turned into weeks and weeks into months. My mind took a trip down the memory lane that was clouded with pain, betrayal and a chunk of it eaten by bitter lessons.
I found myself reminiscing on the priceless and golden moment I spent with her. Endless tears that knows no bounds thrust down to my cheeks profusely as though its biding passers-by goodbye.
My heart heavy and crying like a chirping of a cricket as I pondered on those lovely moments; there were so fresh as though it took place just yesterday.
The wound was far from being healed at the first few months. Loving her with all my heart, withholding nothing with my sense out of place was insane thing to do.
The love was never reciprocated yet, I got stuck loving someone whose heart was with another; it made me feel ‘Love is blind.’
I showed to her she was irreplaceable and she took advantage of everything; I was stabbed at the back with dagger of betrayal. Breakup text was wrapped in a beautiful and astonishing case and sent to me through whatsapp on that fateful day as rain abated profusely as though it hadn’t rained for years. That day seemed to be different as I laid on my bed helplessly gazing intently at my phone.
Moving on became so hard as though my destiny was tied to her. Months rolled on yet, I couldn’t let go; I opted to do something that seemed impossible to me: to let go of her . she wasn’t looking back why should I continue to hurt myself? Why should I continue to fix my gaze on someone that derives solace in her vomit? As months kept rolling, her thoughts fades away.
A sad thing in life is when you stumble on someone who means a whole lot to you only to find out in the end it was never meant to be.
I was determined to hurt myself no more; to let go and let God, and another door of happiness got wide opened.
Continue from the last three post
We have had eras of queens, serious women indulged in business and with numerous successes recorded, the queen Amina of Zaria, Madam Tinubu, Moremi, and many others. It is quite unfortunate that these history records are not revered or considered too important.
There is no such thing as old school; when it comes to us women, we must understand that we are a flamboyant masterpiece, a creature made from the very thought of love and support, a flawless representation of sympathy, compassion, hope and a solution. We have no expiry date, our dynamic and mysterious greatness is timeless. We are a mass of love and softness, we are the coolness to the heat of the world, we were created soft to be cushions for comfort, and we were given emotions because we needed to know how every being felt from our fathers, husbands, sons to our daughters as well as our mothers.
Ladies, before you get into the whole whirlpool of marriage or relationships, or even if you are already in one, please realize these facts;
Self- worth; Know your self – worth, this also means discover who you are, what you want to achieve in life, maintain a focus and love yourself immensely for someone who cannot love themselves cannot share love to others, also have your own life figured out first. Majority of us wait on the right man to come into our lives and complement it, we fill our minds up with expectations and at the end of the day if the man doesn’t meet up we begin to emit roller coasters of regrets and disappointment that might eventually turn to hate. When you have encrusted yourself with personal strength, growth and love, nobody can ever take it away from you. Even if they behave badly towards you, it would be their shame and loss and not yours. The end quote to all of this is to always be courageous and kind.
It is very publicly known that the first stages of a relationship is filled with effort from both parties to try and impress the other, which of course is not a bad idea. This is the building phase, and first impression matters, but along the line as time goes on, all of these fades, both parties have become comfortable with each other and their real selves begin to show.
Now most men and women seem to have an issue with this. Relationships are not the colorful rosy lifestyle we watch on television, it is actually a journey, where two stable individuals seek to help one another grow with both parties playing their individual roles as required.
Ladies, life requires you to use your brains, do not dwell on some societal beliefs that a woman should be stagnant in thinking and action. No! that is why we have a brain too, else we would have come as stuffed dolls, to be decorated and adorned without the ability to make assertions or objections about where we want our ship to sail towards. Life is not a joke, and every moment counts. We spend so much time worrying about the future, about our flaws, about how bad things are in the present that we forget to live. A wise man once told me that you see these whole struggle which some people wait for to actually pass? That is life itself, so live it feel the pain, make mistakes and learn your lessons then move on.
Be a good person;Yes! Be a good person. Sometimes we choose to change our attitude as women because we feel that being honest and truthful all the time comes with no gain. So a lot of good ladies have jumped onto the badass train. But do not forget that as future mothers fate has a funny way of twisting our yarns. Be wary of the way you treat people, you might not reap what you sow but if eventually you have kids, be very sure that karma has a really good payback style.Marry a good person, we may not always know a person’s true color,but watch how they treat people, listen to the things people say about their behavior too. Then sift out what you like and measure it with the ones you do not like. Watch how the person you plan to marry, treats people below them, watch how they talk to elders and kids, watch how they behave when angry or happy, listen to the words they say and match it to their actions. Finally be with a person with the same views as you do have.
Now for those of us waiting on a prince in shiny armor, sorry to burst your bubble but there is no such thing as that. Find yourself first, before your prince appears. This prince might be shiny too you know wealth based, but might have a tattered heart. Be a queen, seek a good man with great plans and actions to back them up, and settle for a life of intense conquest and partnership.
The time which we all wait for, the moment where problems do not exist and all our finances and goals have been cleared, doesn’t exist in this life time. The struggle always continues. Every stage comes with its own battle, it is up to you to develop your mindset on how to conquer, by thinking like the queen that you are. Remember, it is how you carry yourself that you are likely to be treated
Friends;It is very important to have friends, but also very essential to know who to befriend. You cannot be friends with everyone, but you can be equally nice to people you meet during your journey through life. Keep a sensible number of friends around who help you grow, who are not just there to crowd you but to serve as pillars of strength and support because of course no man is an island and some burdens we cannot just carry alone. Be supportive to them as well, do not always be at the receiving end.
Your soul: Finally, refurbish your soul, cleanse it with daily thoughts of kindness and forgiveness. The world is a chaotic mess, we all know that and sometimes, we cannot help but get caught up in all the confusion. Most of us escape with lessons and some with indelible scars, but nevertheless we learn. Let grooming your soul be your very goal in life, feed your spirit. Find something to believe in, pray and do not forget to smile for you are a creation from spirit and flesh, do not allow the hurt in life, to scratch your flawless personality.
Now, as women, let’s ask ourselves these questions? What exactly do we want in life? What is our end goal? How will we be remembered? I know some women who are cool with being stay at home mums, I know some who want to work, but ensure that their jobs has minimal effect in coming between them and their families, and I know some career driven women who just don’t care about anything, but their jobs, the name and power they would accomplish at the end. I won’t be insensitive to the whole idea of women trying to live their lives as they want and pursuing their own goals. It is a very commendable move, but at the end of the day you should ensure that you are not wondering why you failed at the most important aspect of life, raising individuals and building a man’s empire and expanding your kingdom.
Were we created to compete with them? Of course not! We were created to perfect their lives, to serve as the lace to their brick, to lessen their burden, to clean up after them, this may sound too much but sister, you were created sophisticatedly for that. Tender on the outside and strong on the inside. I cannot help but shake my head when I hear women lament and make absurd wishes of how they would have loved to be created as men, when asked why? The reply would either be that, men only go out to get money, do not cook and do not experience labor pains, period or cramps, and can have as many partners as they want – concubines and side chicks .
You have failed to realize that they do have their own setbacks and pains, each gender was created with the ability to bear the pains we encounter separately in our daily lives.
Greed and society might have made the whole marriage thing become a union where only the man provides financially and morally in a relationship and where the woman worships him and acts dumb. Respect is essential, but definitely not worship. There cannot be two gods, worship is for the Almighty alone, but our husbands deserve immense respect, for they live solely for it, they have been created to thrive through the feeling of being responsible for a woman who looks up to them. It is quite unfortunate that a lot of them do not meet up to expectations or at least try to be a man, but if you find one that tries, honey, treat him good!
You were not created to just sit and watch him work; it is so awful that some men and women accrue to the idea that a woman should stay put and just feed, and breed. I know a lot of people will want to mention the women of the good old days, but mind you these women were not at all lazy, they participated in farming activities, pottery, weaving, hair-making, dress-making, flour processing and a lot of duties, yet they were still part of their homes and the lifestyle of their children was very known to them. They didn’t just sit and stare, and even the stay at home mothers then were not idle either, they supported too. Ask me how, taking care of kids and making meals is a lot of work, but today you find a lot of stay at home mums employing maids and nannies to help them ‘minimize stress’ Yes, I buy the whole idea of living like a queen without stress, nobody wants to be a maid in their own home, but it is your home. Be a part of it!
WHAT IS OUR MISSION?
Our mission apart from being mothers, varies. To our children, we are super heroes, capable of anything. When viewed from a child’s perspective his or her mother is this completely amazing person who can do anything, she is his teacher, first role model, decision maker, interpreter, counsel and miracle worker. Unfortunately because of the tussle today and misconceptions attached to building careers and handling a family by women, most children lose out on these special qualities.
To our spouses, we are the managers of their homes and whenever anything goes wrong, unfortunately, a man without a strong sense of judgement usually blames the woman. We are assistants of their mothers, we may never fill in these women’s shoes completely but at least we represent, we are that wholeness that fills the void in their hearts. You can actually visualize the swelling of a man’s chest when he’s asked about “madam”, or praised for how good madam is looking, When the kids call him daddy or when his wife sweetly expresses her need for him and his importance in her life, even when it is sometimes just a bluff and not actually true.
We are their friends, who of course they never listen to, but run towards for help when all hell has let loose or when they are stuck at crossroads, for the sake of humanity we need to be ourselves and serve our feminine purpose for the betterment of the world.
Growing up as a female, school, marriage, motherhood and business, are all a bit of a struggle and a carousel of various kinds of inferiority complex, self-doubt, depression and the fear of failure. Majority of women who have gone down that road can testify, about how hard it was for them, from their teenage years to womanhood, some nearly broke down, some even did, relationships strained, behaviors changed too, but those who were strong enough fought hard and wise.
As a female born in this generation, schooling and making career choices is almost inevitable.
Today, a lot of women indulge in businesses, and have time consuming jobs but of course it is a must do, because of the rapid increase in the cost of living today all over the world and the new found trait of the modern women that consists of ‘wanting to have her own money which of course is not a bad idea. To live a lavish lifestyle and buying whatever one wishes is not a criminal offence, but having to work all day in order to make ends meet is also a part of making the dream come true.
Meanwhile, there’s a whole margin to be drawn between the sourcing for income of your own as a woman, seeking to further education and building a family, which of course falls on both the man and the woman.