MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

Tag Archives: family


Under the tree

where my father spent his childhood

climbing and jumping

like a matured toad

towards the mother dust

i listened to

the iga bird sing

the song of wisdom

my mother sang putting me to bed

 

my father said

the dabobo from the east

brings good luck

to children who adore their presence

 

under the tree

that father saw paradise

i loll while

taking a moment from the fountain

left untouched and unscrambled

 

i remembered

how we sang dabobo dabobo

the song of paradise

that we sang every morning

and the whistling songs of iga

that signifies joy and happiness

 

like the question

where is God

under the tree of fountain

i asked the question

that got no answer

where is our dabobo and iga

the sign of every child’s joy

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From the pages of the past

Like the legs of egwu

Responding to the rhythmic sound of the drum

My pen dances on the paper

While collecting from the fountain

The memory that was once precious

 

Like the sandy soil

Soiled and moist

After a heavy down pour

My eyes swamp in tears

 

What was there

And what was not there

Is but only a thing now

 

Like a mirage ahead of a traveler

You stood somewhere far but near

And disappear before my reach

 

From the pages of the past

My heart reads out

The story that was once a diamond

And sacred

What was once there

And what was not there

Is but only a thing now

 

Like the legs of egwu

My pen dances

Writing from the fountain of memory



All father father of my fathers

the rock from which all sands are weathered from

the tree thats bears all fruits

the river who source all rivers 

the star whose light illuminate other stars 

the source and originator of all

 

i stand before thee 

oh all father 

i stand before thy presence 

with my knife sharpen

and my chicken strangled

i stand before thy presence 

with my water poured unto the earth

and my grains spread 
all father 

my mother had said never to whistle in the night

not even during the virgin sunset

but i did

she said never pound yam in a mortar by a single hand

nor allow the yam to touch the ground 

but i went against it as well 
she said my broom should never touch another mortal 

nor give another mortal broom hand in hand 

i disobedied as well 
all father 

one whose eyes penetrate tomorow and next 

one whose power is known everywhere 

i stand before thee 

with an egg and a palm oil, your favourite
all father 

i felt so ashamed that i have done another one again 

i walked over a man whose legs were wide spread

i crossed a man lying on the earth
all father 

i stand before thee 

as a humbled and resented servant

forgive me

forgive me this one more time and make for me my heart 

the heart of a true believer
all father 

these are my pleas 

youre all hearing and all seeing 

forgive me 

oh mighty one…  



 

Continue from the last three post

We have had eras of queens, serious women indulged in business and with numerous successes recorded, the queen Amina of Zaria, Madam Tinubu, Moremi, and many others. It is quite unfortunate that these history records are not revered or considered too important.

There is no such thing as old school; when it comes to us women, we must understand that we are a flamboyant masterpiece, a creature made from the very thought of love and support, a flawless representation of sympathy, compassion, hope and a solution. We have no expiry date, our dynamic and mysterious greatness is timeless. We are a mass of love and softness, we are the coolness to the heat of the world, we were created soft to be cushions for comfort, and we were given emotions because we needed to know how every being felt from our fathers, husbands, sons to our daughters as well as our mothers.

Ladies, before you get into the whole whirlpool of marriage or relationships, or even if you are already in one, please realize these facts;

Self- worth; Know your self – worth, this also means discover who you are, what you want to achieve in life, maintain a focus and love yourself immensely for someone who cannot love themselves cannot share love to others, also have your own life figured out first. Majority of us wait on the right man to come into our lives and complement it, we fill our minds up with expectations and at the end of the day if the man doesn’t meet up we begin to emit roller coasters of regrets and disappointment that might eventually turn to hate. When you have encrusted yourself with personal strength, growth and love, nobody can ever take it away from you. Even if they behave badly towards you, it would be their shame and loss and not yours. The end quote to all of this is to always be courageous and kind.

It is very publicly known that the first stages of a relationship is filled with effort from both parties to try and impress the other, which of course is not a bad idea. This is the building phase, and first impression matters, but along the line as time goes on, all of these fades, both parties have become comfortable with each other and their real selves begin to show.

Now most men and women seem to have an issue with this. Relationships are not the colorful rosy lifestyle we watch on television, it is actually a journey, where two stable individuals seek to help one another grow with both parties playing their individual roles as required.

Ladies, life requires you to use your brains, do not dwell on some societal beliefs that a woman should be stagnant in thinking and action. No! that is why we have a brain too, else we would have come as stuffed dolls, to be decorated and adorned without the ability to make assertions or objections about where we want our ship to sail towards. Life is not a joke, and every moment counts. We spend so much time worrying about the future, about our flaws, about how bad things are in the present that we forget to live. A wise man once told me that you see these whole struggle which some people wait for to actually pass? That is life itself, so live it feel the pain, make mistakes and learn your lessons then move on.

Be a good person;Yes! Be a good person. Sometimes we choose to change our attitude as women because we feel that being honest and truthful all the time comes with no gain. So a lot of good ladies have jumped onto the badass train. But do not forget that as future mothers fate has a funny way of twisting our yarns. Be wary of the way you treat people, you might not reap what you sow but if eventually you have kids, be very sure that karma has a really good payback style.Marry a good person, we may not always know a person’s true color,but watch how they treat people, listen to the things people say about their behavior too. Then sift out what you like and measure it with the ones you do not like. Watch how the person you plan to marry, treats people below them, watch how they talk to elders and kids, watch how they behave when angry or happy, listen to the words they say and match it to their actions. Finally be with a person with the same views as you do have.

Now for those of us waiting on a prince in shiny armor, sorry to burst your bubble but there is no such thing as that. Find yourself first, before your prince appears. This prince might be shiny too you know wealth based, but might have a tattered heart. Be a queen, seek a good man with great plans and actions to back them up, and settle for a life of intense conquest and partnership.

The time which we all wait for, the moment where problems do not exist and all our finances and goals have been cleared, doesn’t exist in this life time. The struggle always continues. Every stage comes with its own battle, it is up to you to develop your mindset on how to conquer, by thinking like the queen that you are. Remember, it is how you carry yourself that you are likely to be treated

Friends;It is very important to have friends, but also very essential to know who to befriend. You cannot be friends with everyone, but you can be equally nice to people you meet during your journey through life. Keep a sensible number of friends around who help you grow, who are not just there to crowd you but to serve as pillars of strength and support because of course no man is an island and some burdens we cannot just carry alone. Be supportive to them as well, do not always be at the receiving end.

Your soul: Finally, refurbish your soul, cleanse it with daily thoughts of kindness and forgiveness. The world is a chaotic mess, we all know that and sometimes, we cannot help but get caught up in all the confusion. Most of us escape with lessons and some with indelible scars, but nevertheless we learn. Let grooming your soul be your very goal in life, feed your spirit. Find something to believe in, pray and do not forget to smile for you are a creation from spirit and flesh, do not allow the hurt in life, to scratch your flawless personality.



Now, as women, let’s ask ourselves these questions? What exactly do we want in life? What is our end goal? How will we be remembered? I know some women who are cool with being stay at home mums, I know some who want to work, but ensure that their jobs has minimal effect in coming between them and their families, and I know some career driven women who just don’t care about anything, but their jobs, the name and power they would accomplish at the end. I won’t be insensitive to the whole idea of women trying to live their lives as they want and pursuing their own goals. It is a very commendable move, but at the end of the day you should ensure that you are not wondering why you failed at the most important aspect of life, raising individuals and building a man’s empire and expanding your kingdom.

Were we created to compete with them? Of course not! We were created to perfect their lives, to serve as the lace to their brick, to lessen their burden, to clean up after them, this may sound too much but sister, you were created sophisticatedly for that. Tender on the outside and strong on the inside. I cannot help but shake my head when I hear women lament and make absurd wishes of how they would have loved to be created as men, when asked why? The reply would either be that, men only go out to get money, do not cook and do not experience labor pains, period or cramps, and can have as many partners as they want – concubines and side chicks .

You have failed to realize that they do have their own setbacks and pains, each gender was created with the ability to bear the pains we encounter separately in our daily lives.

Greed and society might have made the whole marriage thing become a union where only the man provides financially and morally in a relationship and where the woman worships him and acts dumb. Respect is essential, but definitely not worship. There cannot be two gods, worship is for the Almighty alone, but our husbands deserve immense respect, for they live solely for it, they have been created to thrive through the feeling of being responsible for a woman who looks up to them. It is quite unfortunate that a lot of them do not meet up to expectations or at least try to be a man, but if you find one that tries, honey, treat him good!

You were not created to just sit and watch him work; it is so awful that some men and women accrue to the idea that a woman should stay put and just feed, and breed. I know a lot of people will want to mention the women of the good old days, but mind you these women were not at all lazy, they participated in farming activities, pottery, weaving, hair-making, dress-making, flour processing and a lot of duties, yet they were still part of their homes and the lifestyle of their children was very known to them. They didn’t just sit and stare, and even the stay at home mothers then were not idle either, they supported too. Ask me how, taking care of kids and making meals is a lot of work, but today you find a lot of stay at home mums employing maids and nannies to help them ‘minimize stress’ Yes, I buy the whole idea of living like a queen without stress, nobody wants to be a maid in their own home, but it is your home. Be a part of it!



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