Continue from the last three post
We have had eras of queens, serious women indulged in business and with numerous successes recorded, the queen Amina of Zaria, Madam Tinubu, Moremi, and many others. It is quite unfortunate that these history records are not revered or considered too important.
There is no such thing as old school; when it comes to us women, we must understand that we are a flamboyant masterpiece, a creature made from the very thought of love and support, a flawless representation of sympathy, compassion, hope and a solution. We have no expiry date, our dynamic and mysterious greatness is timeless. We are a mass of love and softness, we are the coolness to the heat of the world, we were created soft to be cushions for comfort, and we were given emotions because we needed to know how every being felt from our fathers, husbands, sons to our daughters as well as our mothers.
Ladies, before you get into the whole whirlpool of marriage or relationships, or even if you are already in one, please realize these facts;
Self- worth; Know your self – worth, this also means discover who you are, what you want to achieve in life, maintain a focus and love yourself immensely for someone who cannot love themselves cannot share love to others, also have your own life figured out first. Majority of us wait on the right man to come into our lives and complement it, we fill our minds up with expectations and at the end of the day if the man doesn’t meet up we begin to emit roller coasters of regrets and disappointment that might eventually turn to hate. When you have encrusted yourself with personal strength, growth and love, nobody can ever take it away from you. Even if they behave badly towards you, it would be their shame and loss and not yours. The end quote to all of this is to always be courageous and kind.
It is very publicly known that the first stages of a relationship is filled with effort from both parties to try and impress the other, which of course is not a bad idea. This is the building phase, and first impression matters, but along the line as time goes on, all of these fades, both parties have become comfortable with each other and their real selves begin to show.
Now most men and women seem to have an issue with this. Relationships are not the colorful rosy lifestyle we watch on television, it is actually a journey, where two stable individuals seek to help one another grow with both parties playing their individual roles as required.
Ladies, life requires you to use your brains, do not dwell on some societal beliefs that a woman should be stagnant in thinking and action. No! that is why we have a brain too, else we would have come as stuffed dolls, to be decorated and adorned without the ability to make assertions or objections about where we want our ship to sail towards. Life is not a joke, and every moment counts. We spend so much time worrying about the future, about our flaws, about how bad things are in the present that we forget to live. A wise man once told me that you see these whole struggle which some people wait for to actually pass? That is life itself, so live it feel the pain, make mistakes and learn your lessons then move on.
Be a good person;Yes! Be a good person. Sometimes we choose to change our attitude as women because we feel that being honest and truthful all the time comes with no gain. So a lot of good ladies have jumped onto the badass train. But do not forget that as future mothers fate has a funny way of twisting our yarns. Be wary of the way you treat people, you might not reap what you sow but if eventually you have kids, be very sure that karma has a really good payback style.Marry a good person, we may not always know a person’s true color,but watch how they treat people, listen to the things people say about their behavior too. Then sift out what you like and measure it with the ones you do not like. Watch how the person you plan to marry, treats people below them, watch how they talk to elders and kids, watch how they behave when angry or happy, listen to the words they say and match it to their actions. Finally be with a person with the same views as you do have.
Now for those of us waiting on a prince in shiny armor, sorry to burst your bubble but there is no such thing as that. Find yourself first, before your prince appears. This prince might be shiny too you know wealth based, but might have a tattered heart. Be a queen, seek a good man with great plans and actions to back them up, and settle for a life of intense conquest and partnership.
The time which we all wait for, the moment where problems do not exist and all our finances and goals have been cleared, doesn’t exist in this life time. The struggle always continues. Every stage comes with its own battle, it is up to you to develop your mindset on how to conquer, by thinking like the queen that you are. Remember, it is how you carry yourself that you are likely to be treated
Friends;It is very important to have friends, but also very essential to know who to befriend. You cannot be friends with everyone, but you can be equally nice to people you meet during your journey through life. Keep a sensible number of friends around who help you grow, who are not just there to crowd you but to serve as pillars of strength and support because of course no man is an island and some burdens we cannot just carry alone. Be supportive to them as well, do not always be at the receiving end.
Your soul: Finally, refurbish your soul, cleanse it with daily thoughts of kindness and forgiveness. The world is a chaotic mess, we all know that and sometimes, we cannot help but get caught up in all the confusion. Most of us escape with lessons and some with indelible scars, but nevertheless we learn. Let grooming your soul be your very goal in life, feed your spirit. Find something to believe in, pray and do not forget to smile for you are a creation from spirit and flesh, do not allow the hurt in life, to scratch your flawless personality.
I want to let you know that this little piece has really given me a lot of headache thinking about how to really start writing it. I don’t know if this is perfect but this is my final decision. I have to start this way, maybe it is unprofessional but what do I care if my aim is achieved and you the reader finally get to see my points.
Yahaya Bello is a household name in one of the Middle Belt State of Nigeria, Kogi State to be precise. Bello, to the Igalas, the majority of the state is the synonym to Obo-ilo (which literally means bitter leaf soup). No one really knows how they come about the name but it does makes sense thinking about how they rhythms and maybe due to the bitter and hard living conditions he is left Kogi people with.
Who is Bello? Bello happens to be the youngest, nonchalant, uncultured and a kindergarten governor of the people of Kogi State. I won’t tell you how he became the governor of Kogi state. If you want to know click on this link http://www.google.com/YahayaBello
After the unfortunate death of the rightful winner of the governorship election, Adu-oja(which literally mean slave of the people), a name which he acquire for himself through his selfless service for his people or perhaps to the people of the state, the stubborn, uncultured young man was named a replacement for the vacant position.
LET ME PRAISE MYSELF FIRST
Let me praise myself a little. My friends used to call me Okocha before Ronaldo and Messi made their name to stardom, since then I was called either of them by name. Maybe I was the best on the field in my own world outside La-liga and the English premier league.
You will be surprise to hear this but it’s true. I’m a good artist too; a glance at my room will leave your mouth agape. This no doubt earned me the title of “Leonardo da Kogi”. Not only that but also I was a good singer, the Lionel Richie of my hood.
Before I forget, I was the love doctor to all my friends back then in school. They were no issues concerning love that I wouldn’t be asked about. Most of the tactics which I taught them works miraculously. Instead of calling me Shakespeare, they resorted to Sha Rukh Khan, the Bollywood king of romance. Maybe there was no spear in me they could shake, which was why they didn’t call me Shakespeare.
A VOICE FOR THE VOICELESS
Now let’s talk about how Bello, Kogi and his governance concern me. My name you already know. My father used to tell us right from childhood that we were Kogites but I never believed until his death when we had to relocate due to troubles from his people that our mum was too young to take care of us alone in the far away from home northern Nigeria.
Before his death, none of his children knew he had a house in the state. It was a secret he hid from every one of us except our mum. We moved into the house after burial and it was like starting all over again.
Oh I forgot to tell you about my first experience in the state. I will say it was the most unfortunate thing to have occurred to me. Before leaving the north for my state, I was full of enthusiasm that I was going to a state equipped with basic amenities, but when I finally left Abuja behind and entered Ohono, the first Village or Community I could remember easily to be where I noticed I was in Kogi state, my heart melted in shame. The first entrance of the state was nothing to write home about.
Also, entering into the state capital will leave your eyes wet with tears of disappointment. Believe you me; your heart will boil in anger to see such a welcoming disgrace. Big Lorries, and trucks parked at every corner of the road and leathers and dirty clothes littered everywhere.
Let me stop here before the former Governors read this and actually think I am saying they did nothing. You all tried. Weldone sair!
After some months later, my mum got a job at one of the general Hospital. She was a nurse. This is where Bello came in. She worked under both Ibrahim Idris and Wada and we were very contented not really rich.
After the exit of Wada, Obo-ilo began to act up. Screening without ends and that became the beginning of our nightmares. Bello himself was not aware of his doings. He was like a kid holding a pencil and a drawing book in his hand, painting and drawing as he wishes without dimensions.
Mum began borrowing to pay for our school fees as the nature of her job wouldn’t permit her to start any business.
Last night I overheard the person she had been collecting money from asking for her money. Bello, please pay our fathers and mother so that no one would disgrace them because if they do we may forgive you but we will ask God to pay you back accordingly.
We can’t eat good food
We can’t wear better clothes
We can’t afford our school fees
She works in the clinic but we can’t afford medical fees
PLEASE PAY OUR PARENTS!!!
BELLO IF YOU READ THIS IT’S JUST A LITERATURE… IF THERE WAS ANY INSULT IT WAS TO BLEND THE WRITE UP NOT TO TARNISH YOUR IMAGE… WELDONE SAIR!