MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

The Gift in Her


After Mayo had been beaten, battered, dragged to his knees by the turbulence that dines and tarries with mankind. The gift in her was able to mend his kaput nexus with God and invariably led to the emergence of his true identity. The voice came to him expressly and pierced into his heart. It loosed him as his heart tilted. The tears of captivity was sluggishly shed and fountain of freedom installed at the center of his heart. The chains of murder was riven and relinquished to its murky background and began to shine like a star he was or rather he was. 
Serenity…………….. 

We have been in this situation for so long I ought to have been changed,  muttered Matrass 

Mocachino who has vowed not to cease interceding  for his sole to be renewed gawked at Matrass thoughtfully as tears rolled down his chicks uncontrollably. Matrass shook his head in dismay as none  could console one another. Letters of frustration and disappointment printed in upper case at their faces seem glaring. Matrass became still instantly. Couldn’t fathom Matrass’s strange act until he sighted Mayo who tied towel round his waist. 
Mayo raised Matrass up, picked his clothes he left there to straighten. Mocachino gazed at him, shook his head in amazement and muttered “come to our aid Lord for we look up to you”. The helpless and hopeless Mayo shook his legs inside his  shoes as he headed out  with his file seeking for a nest to shelter himself. Mocachino could feel agonizing weight exerted upon him after  covering several kilometers in search of greener pastures to keep the body in conformity with the soul. 
The ramshackle Mocachino gave up at the center of the road. His sole got disintegrated, fell apart and the centre couldn’t hold anymore. Mayo collapsed on the tarred road seeing a vehicle accelerating at high speed. Many witnessed  the episode but Couldn’t intervene. The hopeless boy sighted  Dorcas at his impoverished state,unusual strength came  upon him and the wheel of  fortune from her eyes drove him into the culvert. None could fathom how it happened.
He got up almost immediately and started pacing about searching for his file. “did anyone see my file? so much value was attached to the certificate- “ordinary paper” more than  his life.Your file? Said a low beckoning voice that jilted him from the  crowd, you survived this instead of you to thank God, you opted to shout your file? A file  that has turned  it back  at you?. Hmmm! Take it, take your  life. Mayo clothed with shame casted  his  head downwards with tears gushing out of his eyes like a water fall. He made his way back home. A footprint was planted in his heart by those words of Dorcas. 
It took Mayo several hours to get to his apartment, walked sluggishly as though the ground forbade him from treading on it. The handwriting of frustration, rejection, disappointment, bitterness has transposed  its font size on his face. ‘This is unbearable’, he muttered as he clouted the door with his leg and fele to the ground immediately . ‘Am tired of living, take my life God for you have been unfair to me, I have been humiliated, despised and rejected where others were accepted effortlessly. Why is my case different?’. He increased the tempo of his voice as he lamented continuously. A voice came to him expressly. He couldn’t detect whose voice it was but he knew that it must be a divine voice Just like Angel Gabriel speaking to Virgin Mary about the birth of Jesus. ‘you always put yourself before me as though you own your life. Treated me like an outcast, failed to acknowledge me. you make enemy with me and peace with men. You have changed my agenda for your life to that which suits your taste. That’s why you have not discovered that which is in you. you are loaded son indeed, you are a star. I ought to interrupt your plans but you shut the door of your heart at me. you put all your hope in your certificate and knocked me out of your life. He got frightened and lost in thought. He shouted out of amazement “am loaded? A star? “ but stars are meant to shine…… 
The voice vanished Being more worried, he opted to end it all. He picked a rope, tied it to the roof and the other end to his neck. Just as he was to sway himself to the air came another voice…. ‘Life may have torn you apart , waged war against you. you may have been drawn in the ocean of stagnation, bruised and cobwebbed in the negative circumstances of life, rejected and reduced to nothing, engulfed with Shame and reproach. I beseech you to look up to him who is mighty to save.

In him was life and the life was the light of men. 

something stroke his heart as soon as he heard that of life, the rope was removed off his neck. 

He rushed to the door shedding tears uncontrollably fell down at dorcas feet. He confessed, ‘you made me live once more’. Why would you take a life you can’t give? Says Dorcas, She led him to christ and his life transformed. He became a staunch follower of CHRIST. Many souls were won through him. YOU ARE REDEEMED FOR OTHERS TO BE REDEEMED.

YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING


 

In my lonely night

The memory of you loops

In my empty bed

The feeling of your absence is felt

 

If I am a word

You are my dictionary

I am meaningless without you

 

I have become astray in your love

I am that river which has no water

In my world you are an obligation

I have observed you; you are the path to my God

 

You are the sun, I am the moon

My brightness only comes from you

Without you what purpose is my life?

 

A feeling in my heart keeps me imprisoned

Like the water locked under the earth

I have no use anymore

 

You are my prayers my devotion

If I am a word

You are my dictionary

I am meaningless without you

 

 

 

 

What if you are wrong?


Today I want to write on something very delicate, something I know one day I will surely account for. But what can I do? I am just a helpless soul seeking for answers. 

For those who may end up misunderstanding this after reading it, I want to make it clear that I am a full believer of God in all ramifications. Both the body and soul of mine is devoted to the service of God.

That aside, recently the way I see the world makes me think I am either losing or might lose soon. I don’t know what kind of game it is but I’m pretty sure it is a game.

You know if you are a devoted Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, or any faith, you must have been briefed on all rulings concerning your dealings in life. Rules like no drinking, no sex before marriage, no smoking and other form of social, moral and religious vices.

Without dawdling, let me go straight to the point; I am just a poor young man looking for answers, and I will be wrong to say God has betrayed me. In short it is blasphemy to say such a thing as a believer because He, God plans better than all of us and that’s what we believe.

A poor little thing as I am, who does not smoke, drink nor womanize, I mean I don’t partake in all those moral vices maybe because of the fear of eternal punishment from God and that fear has no doubt trapped me in the thoughts of whether I am deceiving myself or someone else is!

At times I would sit under the tree at the back of my house and the thoughts that would make me think of myself as either a saint or something of the likes would run riot through my head. Who would blame? You? or someone somewhere?  I don’t think someone would.

I have no achievement, no money, no fames yet those rules I follows says it was the way to attaining the fame, wealth and achievements.

I know and I have few friends who drinks, smoke and who can not stay a day without sleeping with different girls. He does everything and doesn’t care about rules. In spite of all these, He is famous, rich, and enjoying a flamboyant life that I do not have.  He does not care about these rules that I have imprisoned myself with and everything is moving smooth for him.

This makes me helpless and I begin to ask myself “what if we are wrong” I mean what if I am wrong? What if one dies tomorrow and finds out there isn’t God at all and that everything was man made? Does it mean such person like me has lost?

Ok let’s look at it the other way; what if one die tomorrow and there is that God? By then it will be too late for such person like my friend who doesn’t care about His existence.

“it is better to live and believe there is God and die and find out there isn’t than to live believing there isn’t a God only to find out there is after death’’.

This is so because we need to ask ourselves the question “what if I am wrong?”  A good business man should take a risk that has little or no risk at all and believe you me; there isn’t a business worth transacting like the business of life. 

Billu, My Friend


 

A SPEECH GIVEN BY SHAH RUKH KHAN IN THE MOVIE “BILLU BARBER”

I’ve been told to give some direction to the children here.

Direction?  It is a big word.

Forgive me, madam principal. I can’t. It’s too hard.

But I’d like to say one thing to my little friends.

Children, the days of childhood are the most beautiful and best days of your life.

Chunni, sitting over there would say that she has broken her tooth and it’s paining.

Or Bunty over here would say that his teacher had given him a sound beating.

Some kids are afraid of exams.

Those days are beautiful.

The most beautiful days

Yes, children. I want to assure you these are the most beautiful days.

Because Bunty, when you grow up and you have a beard like this gentleman (pointing at a man close by)

And Chunni, when you become a pilot and you are worried about flying a plane.

Then you would yearn for these days. But you will never get back these days and these moments.

Today, you’re heart is pure.

It is pure.

Shining gold!

The relationships you form now.

The friends you make you’ll never ever make such friends and relationships ever in life. Looking at you, reminded me of my childhood. You have good clothes, good books to read and good food.

Maybe you won’t believe me but in my childhood I had none of these things.

My childhood was very ordinary and simple. I was not the film star Sahir, but just Sahir.

My father was very poor

We had nothing

 

But in everyone’s childhood there is someone who makes a definite impression on us.

He becomes a partner in our mischief and shares our troubles.

He’s our friend and companion.

I had a companion who was just like that.

My support

The blessing of my God

Billu, my friend

I still remember, during our lunch-break children used to eat from their lunch-boxes.

I just used to drink water

It was Billu who used to pat my back and give me his lunch

My hair was as long as a girls’.

But I didn’t have money to cut them.

It was Billu who cut my hair when his father was not in his shop.

Billu…. My friend

When I used to be sad thinking about my mother he used to steal money from his father and take me to watch movies

He was Billu

My friend

While returning home, he used to get me to mimic characters from movies by promising to buy roasted

Groundnuts for me

Those evening and those lanes Billu had brought out the actor in me

I didn’t have as much faith in myself as Billu had in me.

One day he sold his gold earring and bought me a ticket to Mumbai.

He kept the rest of his money in my shirt-pocket.

I held his hand and told him that

I would return the money.

He told be that I didn’t have to return it.

I should help the needy with it and remember him when I did.

 

That’s enough.

Then I came to fast-paced Mumbai.

I became Sahir, the film star in no time.

I went back to my village to find him, but I couldn’t find him.

Someone told me that he had fallen in love with a girl who didn’t belong to his caste.

The villagers were against them so they ran away in fear of their lives.

They left the village.

I would like to tell you the truth.

I have everything name, fame, all because of him.

Wherever I go, millions of people flock. They call out my name.

The air is filled with cries of my name. But even today amongst those millions of voices I search for only one voice

The voice of my friend, Billu

READ ALSO: REMEMBERING ZAHRA’U

 

HOPE FOR THE YOUNG … FEELING LOST?- Hassanah Suleiman


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What do you keep your mind preoccupied with?

Someone mentioned to me the other day, that the world was full of loopholes and that no solution has been offered to amend these glaring state of incompleteness and questionable charades of life and everything that it brings.

Okay! All of these might sound like mere chatter, but in every chatter there’s a hint of truth only this truth comes with a bit of noise and most times stings. I am a youngster, just out of my teens, holds a degree in Mass communication, both parents still alive and together, healthy, three square meal, adequate pocket money given to me by my old retired father every month so you see, I have a lot to be grateful for, you also have a lot to be grateful for.

Most times the things that end up killing us is excessive want, we want and value things so much that we only consider and focus on outside the box.

We all want to pick the heaviest, shimmery, and glittery trunk hoping that perhaps we might find something valuable to help jet shoot us up on our way to success.

 We rush, we think, we stress until we become drained of useful energy, just because we are attracted to outward appearance, with time we lose focus on the things we want and everything goes blank.

One certain occurrence baffled me till this moment, I lost a friend almost the same age as I am, and I was hurt and cried for days, all I could think about were times we talked about finding prince charming, finishing school, getting a job and having kids.

 Sounds fulfilling right? But all this time we never stopped to listen, now this made me stop and listen, do you hear that tick tock sound? That is time running its head off. I am saying this as an awareness to myself and others like me, use what you can, morally and legally of course, for time is not on our side and life isn’t either.

Consider your failure as stepping stones to life, set them up and use them to gain that careful leap that you wanted to take before without looking. 

The first times may have been total wrecks, mistakes caused by naïve choices, but dust yourself up because this means that right now you are back at the other side of the fence, but this time better, stronger and wiser. Sometimes remorse and self loathe may cost us the ability to sense the progress we have made. Is there tears in your eyes every night? Does your heart thump excessively when you feel like making another try? Do you fear that things might not work out like they should? That everything would go wrong again? 

Well, you are not alone and you may be right! That’s where the whole point of forgiving yourself comes into play. Move on! Whatever is holding you down is all in your mind. There are people out there who are strong willed and may still never be as comfortable as you are. No matter how little you possess.

Every morning, on my way to school, I admire the strength of these young people like me, selling on traffic, chasing after cars, tolerating snares and sharp stares from passengers and drivers as well. But their belief in the goal they want to achieve for that day doesn’t let them stop, and no matter how intense the heat of the sun gets they never stop running! They never get tired of shoving biscuits, snacks, sweets or soft-drinks at your face and they never will. Their only shame would be never meeting up with the day’s aim. And the sweetest thing is that they are still there the next day on that same spot, shoving their products right at our faces. I see the hope that they might not see, and then I get this boiling feeling inside my stomach that pushes me, drives me to a point where I have to get myself out of my comfort zone, chest up and join the force.

This force I tell you is not the soft sofa landing force, but the hard rocky surface landing force, where you will be drilled alongside your subconscious to work! We owe the later generation a lot, it may seem hard because the resources may not be there but to make a well one has got to start digging! Not just surface digging but intense stratified digging that wears you out and increases the rate of our heart beat, until you begin to feel the wet soil and tricking of water.

Everyday requires some bit of mind exercise in order to challenge our inner demons. Eat clean, make friends and most importantly keep in mind that everybody is going through a phase in life. Let’s save the minds of youths today and remind everyone that every rose has its thorn, and had once been a seed inside the snow.

 


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