MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

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Do you know that feeling when you are hurt so much and you just want to cry! I mean you want to let thousands of droplets of tears out of your swollen eyes, but you wouldn’t be able to because you have no single tears left in there.
That time when you could feel the blood in your heart dripping like the remnant of rain on the zinc, after a long downpour that continuously drips down on the earth; and the chest up to your upper abdomen hurts so much as though someone is in there frying some delicacies.
Or that time when your heart beats violently against your chest or breast making a tapping sound as though your chest were a window pan that got controlled over by a heavy wind.

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This is what happen when I buried those moments beneath that no penetrable part of my being, and let them eat me dry and hurt me alone. Mahatma Gandhi said “no one can hurt us except by our permission” don’t you think it applies to only a few persons?
This few years of mine, I have spent my miserable life like an object among humans. I don’t know what joy and happiness look like; I have become a human without any other feelings aside pain and sorrow.
Everyone complain about how cold I have become, how uninteresting my life had turned into. No one really cares to ask how I landed into this and how I will get out of it.
Each time people are gathered in their multitude rejoicing, there is this ache, a terrible one that burn down through my heart and rendered me helpless. At times I wish I could cry but it was impossible since my soul had become like become a desert deserted by rain for years, no tears would flow. This pain and sorrow, and its story is a long one that I wouldn’t be able to narrate today, for today is a day of lamentation – even though am not sure of tomorrow am pretty sure for tomorrow, my story will narrate itself.       



On some turns of birth 

I came to be

I had met you oh destiny

As a companion of a must 
Whether I agreed or not

You did as you desire

Not as a friend

Nor as a foe
When the Heart boils

Like water on a fire

And when face delighted 

Like a morning sun

It was all because of you
What is my own I have to come

To this path called life
With or without an option

I agreed to what you said,

and went with you, holding your hand,

choosing you as my companion…
On what part am I wrong

On what path have you brought me

Whether I want it or not

You forced it on me

What I find unacceptable

is what you want,

I’m not able to understand you,

nor are you ready to fill me

With bliss
The decisions you made

You made them alone

Why am I your victim

Trapped in between disbelief and doubts



The moon and the sun are not real

Life and death isn’t either

The breeze can blow as it desires

Even the rain too

Not sleeping and dreaming isn’t real either

Like the flashes of lightening

Everything changes

Humans too

Real is you

when I dream

And when I am awake

You are the only thing that’s real

You are the same in both world



Dust I was, floating in air,
Given an identity by Creator’s Care.

Flying seed I was, craving for land,

Given a golden ground by His Guidance.

Fake glitters charmed me too,

Devilish desires harmed me too,

Unbridled freedom marred me too,

Weak intentions charred me too.

But the vanity clouds washed off in tears,

As if from a lion’s jaw, escaped a deer.

As if a person got free from worldly prison,

And the light of his soul passed through a prism.

Quest is best for the determined soul,

Is the first one to reach its goal.

Guidance dawns upon those who find,

And don’t let their eyes go blind.

What are we but creations at test,

Oft who ignore what’s best.

The invisible enemy attacks from all sides,

And in dark hearts it cozily resides.

Yet Allah’s doors of Mercy are open to all,

Ask for His Help and be saved from fall.

Nature’s at your service as an Emblem of His Love,

And His Throne rests high above.

An excerpt from muslimmemo.com
This poem was written by Anam Fatima and am sharing the poem as a gift to all my fellow Muslim faithful in this month of Ramadan.



If one were to ask me what happiness is and where and how one could obtain it, I will but only say it lies within that special depth in our heart. Most people would attribute their source of happiness to one object or persons. You can’t really blame them for doing such nor applaud them for it. It’s a long ancient norm that has prevented us from achieving life’s greatest goal, which is, true happiness.

Everyone need or want this or that!

 

Some people want love and because they can’t find that love every other thing in life is but nothing to them. Because of the lack of love, their heart created a wall against every other beautiful thing that life has to offer. Believe you me; it would be against nature for everyone to love and be loved. Am sorry to say that but it’s the bitter truth. When we lose love we should not live our life depending on something that would never last forever. Nothing was ever made to be so except the one who created and made everything to be as it is.

 

From the view of various people, believe me this doesn’t concern tribe, religion or race. It is a worldwide already broaden trait that is extremely contagious and permanently persistent, that one might believe it is an innate feeling.

 

Being happy is indispensable to human lives, but how do we safeguard it?

How do we cultivate it?

How do we deal with it?

 

It is a sorry thing that one’s happiness depends on material things or temporary human relations. Simply put if you cannot find any reason to be happy when you lack things, be rest assured that the happiness which such thing brings comes with an expiry date!

 

You might ask how, well as humans, our needs and wants for things grow every day, the more we get the more we want and when the time comes for our needs to be short in supply, we fall into depression and anxiety. We tell ourselves that without any of these possessions we are worthless and we degrade ourselves to the level of the unfortunates, and that exactly is where the problem lies.

 

In my world, I do not know about yours, I do not believe that anyone could fall into the ‘unfortunate’ category. Every stage of human life hardship or success is a part of the long extraordinary script of destiny, the truth which lies therein is that fight dirty or clean, the spot at which you are right now is exactly where you are supposed to be. Our actions may tend to either hasten or slowdown fate, but whatever the plot of your life entails must come to pass eventually.

 

Someone talked about learning to let go of our inner demons, no, for me, I suggest you do not let go of them, embrace them and show them you know where your downfalls and mistakes lie, but you will not let it dictate to you about how to live, love and be happy.

 

Acknowledging ones faults are the greatest ways to experience joy, talk to closest friends, listen to people a lot, even in times of arguments, ensure to focus on the tone of their voice, and explain kindly that they have hurt you. If they apologize, accept the apology and move on, if you are at fault apologize quickly and do not repeat similar actions.

 

Life becomes hard when we focus and concentrate on the dark sides. Study the darkness and seek an antidote, if there isn’t anyone available, then chase the light and eventually, the light will embrace you.

Stay happy and positive always, for THERE’S ALWAYS SOMEONE HAVING IT WORSE THAN YOU MIGHT THINK. PRAY FOR YOURSELF AND PRAY FOR OTHERS TOO.

 



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