MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

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My dear Bello, congratulations; though it has been over a year you came to the seat as a governor, I have not officially congratulated you. You have indeed become a popular person, if not one of the most talked about person in Nigeria. I cannot say I am not proud of you just as can’t say I am proud of you. Being a governor of Kogites is not easy, especially when a young man like you takes over power. I hope you understand what I meant. Imaging you as a governor is like having someone in primary one as a VC in ABU Zaria. But that should not deter you. You are doing a service and a national one for that matter. I am happy that you know and we knew your are our leader.

Kogites says that I should tell you not to ignore the newspapers and Television report that workers are dying, kidnapping and stealing are the order of the day. They said I should tell you that when Audu, Ibrahim and Wada were there, the situation was different.

They said I should also tell you that some people are now receiving the salary alert for over 22 months and the amount some are receiving ranges from N400 to 30% of the owned salaries. But i know you will persevere because I have noticed you for a long time now, your eye shades has an advantage, it prevents you from seeing the ugly side of the state which is good if not for anything for your health because I heard what happened during one of your recent meetings.

My neighbour is asking whether you are seeing how Jigawa state, Bauchi State and other state are doing. I won’t mention Lagos because in the next ten years you won’t be able to meet up with them. Hope you heard what Enugu state government is doing? They paid 13 months’ salary without anyone complaining whether they were left out or whether the amount was a wrong calculation or should I say they were paid in full.

Your bag, I mean the chief of staff who you carry about has given us body language that you will contest come next election. I think you may have to shelve your idea of coming back to the Lugard house. You see, even the blinds, the villagers both literate and illiterate have done their voters card in a bid to send you parking. I was even surprise when my neighbour took his goat and birds for voter’s card registration. You will have to hold on for a while; that is if not forever.

The life of a Kogite is now terrible and everyone says you are the cause. I am sure ABU Zaria does not have age limit for admitting student. When you are sent packaging it will be good if you take a course on public administration, the study will no doubt help you on how to manage public offices.

I can’t believe you were thinking of another four years of joblessness, lawlessness, nonchalant, and bad human welfare conduct going on in the state. I will advise you as a brother, just forget it. You will lose even if a mad man were to contest against you.

I do not wish to make you panic but I am afraid you will just waste your money-but don’t worry, I don’t care if I should be your campaign manager as far as money is involved, though you will still lose.

Have you heard of scratch ‘my back and I scratch yours?’ oh sorry I forgot you don’t like idioms right from your days in secondary school days but you can ask Edward, I think he look smart enough to know what it means. I think that pattern can only work in your dreams for now, unless you listen to what I have as a suggestion. Maybe let’s start from the payment of all the staff salaries both cleared and not cleared ones; for now we don’t even know what cleared and not cleared mean as if they once cleared are grasses that re-grows because after being cleared they become not-cleared. Then make sure we have adequate light supply, at least for 12 hours daily, you know we are not too greedy people. Our roads too are in bad states and we also need street lights and good security since locking our doors alone cannot prevent thieves from boring holes on our walls to gain access into our very main bedrooms.

As you may have known, once human beings begin to enjoy, they forget their pain and sorrows. So that pattern might work for you even if not to win at least you will get 500 votes. Also your name could be changed from Obo-ilo to Ugwu soup.

Listen, when I wake tomorrow morning I want to hear that the Kogi State Governor have directed the payment of workers’ salaries and arrears and it should be before the Christmas Eve. We will talk about it when you have done the right thing.

No, you don’t need my phone number; I haven’t forgotten what it means to send this kind of letter with my phone number.

Meanwhile, I am sending this letter with pictures of staff who have died without being paid and the pictures of in bad states and also roads too. There is Kano Gorasa and kwa-kwa, I hope you will enjoy it.

Yours Tofaashir

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Continue from the last three post

We have had eras of queens, serious women indulged in business and with numerous successes recorded, the queen Amina of Zaria, Madam Tinubu, Moremi, and many others. It is quite unfortunate that these history records are not revered or considered too important.

There is no such thing as old school; when it comes to us women, we must understand that we are a flamboyant masterpiece, a creature made from the very thought of love and support, a flawless representation of sympathy, compassion, hope and a solution. We have no expiry date, our dynamic and mysterious greatness is timeless. We are a mass of love and softness, we are the coolness to the heat of the world, we were created soft to be cushions for comfort, and we were given emotions because we needed to know how every being felt from our fathers, husbands, sons to our daughters as well as our mothers.

Ladies, before you get into the whole whirlpool of marriage or relationships, or even if you are already in one, please realize these facts;

Self- worth; Know your self – worth, this also means discover who you are, what you want to achieve in life, maintain a focus and love yourself immensely for someone who cannot love themselves cannot share love to others, also have your own life figured out first. Majority of us wait on the right man to come into our lives and complement it, we fill our minds up with expectations and at the end of the day if the man doesn’t meet up we begin to emit roller coasters of regrets and disappointment that might eventually turn to hate. When you have encrusted yourself with personal strength, growth and love, nobody can ever take it away from you. Even if they behave badly towards you, it would be their shame and loss and not yours. The end quote to all of this is to always be courageous and kind.

It is very publicly known that the first stages of a relationship is filled with effort from both parties to try and impress the other, which of course is not a bad idea. This is the building phase, and first impression matters, but along the line as time goes on, all of these fades, both parties have become comfortable with each other and their real selves begin to show.

Now most men and women seem to have an issue with this. Relationships are not the colorful rosy lifestyle we watch on television, it is actually a journey, where two stable individuals seek to help one another grow with both parties playing their individual roles as required.

Ladies, life requires you to use your brains, do not dwell on some societal beliefs that a woman should be stagnant in thinking and action. No! that is why we have a brain too, else we would have come as stuffed dolls, to be decorated and adorned without the ability to make assertions or objections about where we want our ship to sail towards. Life is not a joke, and every moment counts. We spend so much time worrying about the future, about our flaws, about how bad things are in the present that we forget to live. A wise man once told me that you see these whole struggle which some people wait for to actually pass? That is life itself, so live it feel the pain, make mistakes and learn your lessons then move on.

Be a good person;Yes! Be a good person. Sometimes we choose to change our attitude as women because we feel that being honest and truthful all the time comes with no gain. So a lot of good ladies have jumped onto the badass train. But do not forget that as future mothers fate has a funny way of twisting our yarns. Be wary of the way you treat people, you might not reap what you sow but if eventually you have kids, be very sure that karma has a really good payback style.Marry a good person, we may not always know a person’s true color,but watch how they treat people, listen to the things people say about their behavior too. Then sift out what you like and measure it with the ones you do not like. Watch how the person you plan to marry, treats people below them, watch how they talk to elders and kids, watch how they behave when angry or happy, listen to the words they say and match it to their actions. Finally be with a person with the same views as you do have.

Now for those of us waiting on a prince in shiny armor, sorry to burst your bubble but there is no such thing as that. Find yourself first, before your prince appears. This prince might be shiny too you know wealth based, but might have a tattered heart. Be a queen, seek a good man with great plans and actions to back them up, and settle for a life of intense conquest and partnership.

The time which we all wait for, the moment where problems do not exist and all our finances and goals have been cleared, doesn’t exist in this life time. The struggle always continues. Every stage comes with its own battle, it is up to you to develop your mindset on how to conquer, by thinking like the queen that you are. Remember, it is how you carry yourself that you are likely to be treated

Friends;It is very important to have friends, but also very essential to know who to befriend. You cannot be friends with everyone, but you can be equally nice to people you meet during your journey through life. Keep a sensible number of friends around who help you grow, who are not just there to crowd you but to serve as pillars of strength and support because of course no man is an island and some burdens we cannot just carry alone. Be supportive to them as well, do not always be at the receiving end.

Your soul: Finally, refurbish your soul, cleanse it with daily thoughts of kindness and forgiveness. The world is a chaotic mess, we all know that and sometimes, we cannot help but get caught up in all the confusion. Most of us escape with lessons and some with indelible scars, but nevertheless we learn. Let grooming your soul be your very goal in life, feed your spirit. Find something to believe in, pray and do not forget to smile for you are a creation from spirit and flesh, do not allow the hurt in life, to scratch your flawless personality.



Now, as women, let’s ask ourselves these questions? What exactly do we want in life? What is our end goal? How will we be remembered? I know some women who are cool with being stay at home mums, I know some who want to work, but ensure that their jobs has minimal effect in coming between them and their families, and I know some career driven women who just don’t care about anything, but their jobs, the name and power they would accomplish at the end. I won’t be insensitive to the whole idea of women trying to live their lives as they want and pursuing their own goals. It is a very commendable move, but at the end of the day you should ensure that you are not wondering why you failed at the most important aspect of life, raising individuals and building a man’s empire and expanding your kingdom.

Were we created to compete with them? Of course not! We were created to perfect their lives, to serve as the lace to their brick, to lessen their burden, to clean up after them, this may sound too much but sister, you were created sophisticatedly for that. Tender on the outside and strong on the inside. I cannot help but shake my head when I hear women lament and make absurd wishes of how they would have loved to be created as men, when asked why? The reply would either be that, men only go out to get money, do not cook and do not experience labor pains, period or cramps, and can have as many partners as they want – concubines and side chicks .

You have failed to realize that they do have their own setbacks and pains, each gender was created with the ability to bear the pains we encounter separately in our daily lives.

Greed and society might have made the whole marriage thing become a union where only the man provides financially and morally in a relationship and where the woman worships him and acts dumb. Respect is essential, but definitely not worship. There cannot be two gods, worship is for the Almighty alone, but our husbands deserve immense respect, for they live solely for it, they have been created to thrive through the feeling of being responsible for a woman who looks up to them. It is quite unfortunate that a lot of them do not meet up to expectations or at least try to be a man, but if you find one that tries, honey, treat him good!

You were not created to just sit and watch him work; it is so awful that some men and women accrue to the idea that a woman should stay put and just feed, and breed. I know a lot of people will want to mention the women of the good old days, but mind you these women were not at all lazy, they participated in farming activities, pottery, weaving, hair-making, dress-making, flour processing and a lot of duties, yet they were still part of their homes and the lifestyle of their children was very known to them. They didn’t just sit and stare, and even the stay at home mothers then were not idle either, they supported too. Ask me how, taking care of kids and making meals is a lot of work, but today you find a lot of stay at home mums employing maids and nannies to help them ‘minimize stress’ Yes, I buy the whole idea of living like a queen without stress, nobody wants to be a maid in their own home, but it is your home. Be a part of it!



WHAT IS OUR MISSION?

Our mission apart from being mothers, varies. To our children, we are super heroes, capable of anything. When viewed from a child’s perspective his or her mother is this completely amazing person who can do anything, she is his teacher, first role model, decision maker, interpreter, counsel and miracle worker. Unfortunately because of the tussle today and misconceptions attached to building careers and handling a family by women, most children lose out on these special qualities.

To our spouses, we are the managers of their homes and whenever anything goes wrong, unfortunately, a man without a strong sense of judgement usually blames the woman. We are assistants of their mothers, we may never fill in these women’s shoes completely but at least we represent, we are that wholeness that fills the void in their hearts. You can actually visualize the swelling of a man’s chest when he’s asked about “madam”, or praised for how good madam is looking, When the kids call him daddy or when his wife sweetly expresses her need for him and his importance in her life, even when it is sometimes just a bluff and not actually true.

We are their friends, who of course they never listen to, but run towards for help when all hell has let loose or when they are stuck at crossroads, for the sake of humanity we need to be ourselves and serve our feminine purpose for the betterment of the world.

Growing up as a female, school, marriage, motherhood and business, are all a bit of a struggle and a carousel of various kinds of inferiority complex, self-doubt, depression and the fear of failure. Majority of women who have gone down that road can testify, about how hard it was for them, from their teenage years to womanhood, some nearly broke down, some even did, relationships strained, behaviors changed too, but those who were strong enough fought hard and wise.

As a female born in this generation, schooling and making career choices is almost inevitable.

Today, a lot of women indulge in businesses, and have time consuming jobs but of course it is a must do, because of the rapid increase in the cost of living today all over the world and the new found trait of the modern women that consists of ‘wanting to have her own money which of course is not a bad idea. To live a lavish lifestyle and buying whatever one wishes is not a criminal offence, but having to work all day in order to make ends meet is also a part of making the dream come true.

Meanwhile, there’s a whole margin to be drawn between the sourcing for income of your own as a woman, seeking to further education and building a family, which of course falls on both the man and the woman.



Just as lightening is so fast and heart thrusting, the moment and how destiny turn tables on them that particular day was also fast. It was like a dream to him as he sat in the middle of the sitting room weeping like a punctured tank rushing out. Four family members came inside and lifted the lifeless body of Uncle Dowd for burial. Many thought came and flogged him deep down into his brain and he felt like erasing the memory away and wished it was just a dream.
The memory of his dad, uncle Dowd torments him. It was like bush fire blazing through the forest, flogged by the harmattan. The voice of his dad early in the morning calling out to him to get ready for the Morning Prayer played an endless loop. Those smiles whenever he returns from school in the evening replayed too. As he turned sideways, he noticed the Panasonic radio switched off and more tears gushes out of his eyes. He cherished the radio just as he cherished his dad. Uncle Dowd and his radio were friends, as he never ate without it.
He remembered the dead look he always wears each time he prayed the five mandatory prayer when the time had passed. Thinking about all the little and big things about his dad ate him dry.
Beside uncle Dowd’s favourite sofa, his wife sat restless on the tiled floor. In her eyes were tears she could never shed. If she sits, she stood abruptly and when helped to stand, she sits. The pain and sorrow she was trying to endure was much and enough to get her crazy. Her hair scattered, her eyes bulging like that of a toad and tears drew the map of many nations yet undiscovered on her cheeks.
Bello you will die, you will die before your children grow up. You will go blind even if you have a long life. Unless there is no God, unless I didn’t gave birth to my five children and married the Dowd before you became governor. You starved us and still killed my husband, my only hope for survival because he stood against you! You will die a miserable death.
Some women tried to calm her down. But she was already out control. Her pain and sorrow was such that has no cure. How am I going to take care of five children, young children without a father, without salary for the past 20 months? All this and the death alone were killing her too. She wished she never gave birth to them after all. She also wished they all died at a time, all seven of them. In that case no one would be left to suffer afterward. No! She roared, maybe afraid of her own thoughts as well. No they will replace their father; they will repay Bello and his officials.
Muhammad sat where he was, sobbing like a vulture beaten by a heavy rain. His was not how and who killed his father, but why it has to be at that crucial time in his life. He was still in senior secondary one and the eldest among five. The task and responsibility ahead alone was a mountain he must learn how to climb, when he could barely walk properly.      



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