They say life sometimes it’s like a shade and sometimes life, it’s like standing under a blazing sun or heavy down pour. I don’t know if you believe that! Life to me has been hell. By hell I mean hell, such pain that has made me painless or perhaps heartless.
I have lived my life like a prisoner on a death roll, each day with its own episode of pain and sorrow. I have endured everything like an egg in a boiling water. Each nuance making me stronger or better put heartless. Many a time, I have experienced what it meant to be heartbroken, so much that the word love no longer existed in my dictionary.
They are times when I missed my childhood. It was my paradise, no desire, no problem at all.
They are times too when I ask myself what purpose was I created! Maybe I wouldn’t be able to let you see the reasons for my nonchalant questions. At times life to me is like “we are all waiting just to die any moment.”
I have experience what it meant for someone to lose everything. I mean everything including HOPE. I have lost a lot in life that living is like hell. To me “nothing is like anything to me anymore.” I have been like that until one day when I was forced to attend a neighbor’s wedding ceremony. That day after so much had happened; my heart was burning like I was a cake being fried. Each corner I turned my face to, all I saw was something I couldn’t fathom. There was an aching in my heart. Such wounds I had refused to treat for a very long time.
Don’t you feel any pain? Someone once asked me the day my first and only girlfriend left me for another guy because I was indifferent. The question came like an arrow that was aimed at my very heart.
He failed to realized that it was wrong to ask one whose life has been turned upside down by destiny what pain each nuance hides.
I dont know why destiny too does not realize its painful as well.
For men see but no more than a smiling face which I have tried to live with for long. People don’t even know what makes me smile. A lonely person like me will but only smile when he feels too much pain.
These days, you know what I make family with? Just me and poetry and therefore it was that I adopted writing. The PEN for my son and the BOOK for my daughter.
The w word is tricky, meaning for wealth, worn, warmth, wisdoms, wastrel and even wasting too, a well-wisher and your waywardness too.
I have sentenced myself to writing, because everyday my heart is put to trial. Everyday my life is on trial. And I don’t care if I pass or fail any longer because the thought that we are just living to die any moment is enough to kill such person like myself.